I don't usually give in to sentimentality or to the personal overshare but I'm making an exception for today, which marks the ten year anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with leukemia. The day I was diagnosed made me anxious for the day when life would "return to normal." While life has returned to normal in many big ways, it is completely different in all the small ways. I find it impossible to take beautiful moments and even difficult ones for granted now, because I am reminded of what I've fought through to make it there. So even when I am crying on the steps of the Library of Congress about my dissertation chapter, I am always also thinking, "What a blessing to be alive and to have the luxury to cry about this!" Today I feel so happy to be healthy and long-of-hair; I feel deeply indebted to my parents who sacrificed so much of their own lives in the pursuit of my wellness; and most of all, I am grateful just to be alive, and to experience all the goodness and all the hardships that come with it.
I'm a bike-riding bookworm in DC trying to make better use of a sometimes-vanilla closet. You can read a little more about this blog
138 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing this with your readers. It really hit home for me as I'm a 1st year doctoral student trying to figure out why I am going crazy every day, when I have so much to thank for from a supportive family and friends. :) You're an inspiration! -Christina
So awesome, thanks for sharing! Living with a chronic disease myself, I know it's so easy to forget what a blessing life is! Thanks for the reminder today.
What a beautiful post, Tania. I actually had no idea you had battled with leukemia until this post. Here's to the next incredible ten years of your life!
I'm so glad you shared it though, so we can celebrate with you!
What a positive post. That's so thoughtful of you to commend your parents after all that you had gone through. Congrats on all you've done in the past 10 years and that you have been here to do it all! Very few leave such imprints during their entire lives, but you've done so much in a short amount of time!
I had no idea about this - what a lovely post. Thanks for sharing!
preethi
lace, etc.
Beautiful post. Here's to many more decades! And thank you for a reality check...so much to be grateful for. :)
What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing this.
How warming...this is a great reminder. Thank you.
flimsylindsey.blogspot.com
long time reader, new commenter here. what a beautiful post! i had no idea you fought (and beat!) leukemia. thanks for sharing. :)
a good reminder for all of us :) i appreciate you, friend!
Congratulations on life, your grateful outlook, and looking exactly the same as you did as a teenager. :) Seriously happy to have you here.
Beautifully said. Sometimes it's easy to forget what a blessing it is to be alive. Thanks for the reminder.
10 years! congrats on being healthy and able to enjoy life, even in the more difficult moments. XO
Tania, I had no idea either! I am so happy that you shared this with us so we can celebrate with you. Your story is a good reminder not to take any moment forgranted. Yay for 10 years of LIFE!
Wow, glad I'm not the only one who was completely clueless about this. (Your hair is so beautiful! Is that a really weird thing to say?)
Congratulations on 10 years of loving life for what it is, good and bad. You're an inspiration!
Beautiful post, Tania! I always try not to take anything for granted either. Thank you for sharing this with us!
~Sara
sarastrauss.blogspot.com
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this. Best wishes and well being to you. You are a true survivor and I am proud of you (even though I don't know you).
I never imagined. I cried while reading this post today.
Always go through here, I think your style is beautiful, you're sweet.
This was a beautiful post. Congratulations on the wonderful years!
So awesome of you to share this. A good reminder that every day, even a bad day, is a blessing.
i just started reading your blog and this is fucking rad. congratulations!
This is such a great reminder. The grad school life can really make it hard to step back, put things in perspective, and appreciate how lucky we are. Thanks for sharing!
-Jessica
Thanks so much for sharing. I can hardly imagine what it feels like to go through that, and I just wanted to say congratulations and that this helped me to remember to be grateful. All the best to you!
It's An incredible story . Made me grateful. I'm enjoying more of your blog from now on :)
thanks for the reminder to be grateful for every moment. I'm working on the last couple months of my Master's degree (aka thesis) and I am in a battle with my ex for custody of my daughter. sometimes it is hard to stay positive. then I read things like this, which make me realize how blessed I truly am just to be alive and to be experiencing life.
you are incredible. thanks for being you.
Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this personal story on your blog! What an incredible feeling it must be!
Wow - I had no idea that you had been through this. That's an amazing story.
Congratulations on 10 years! I hope you are blessed with many, many more! So often we take the fact that we are simply alive for granted, yet that is the biggest gift we have! Thanks for sharing this! :)
wow, you went through so much and you such a strong person. I am glad you are healthy and thank you for sharing this moment. I can understand your feeling just a little bit. This year will mark the 15th anniversary of a horrible accident I only barely survived. I can only agree with you and wish you all the best! Stay strong, enjoy every moment and celebrate life!!
I had no idea about your story. Glad your okay lady, and that it's given you a great perspective. You're outlook is inspiring.
Beautiful story! We are all so lucky to be here. Here's too many more decades of happiness!
Dee
beautiful post, thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing, sometimes it takes moments like that in life to put things into perspective. I have a handful of good friends and loved ones who have had cancer.
Every moment is a gift- a blessing. I don't know you personally, but from reading your blog, I feel like you are beautiful (inside and out). Congrats!!!
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on 10 years! Thank you also for the reminder to feel blessed to be alive and to treasure each moment. It is so easy to forget how lucky we are, and it always good to have a reminder to treasure life and all that we have.
Joining the masses in saying I had no idea either. I really appreciate you sharing this part of your story with us. Congratulations on ten years of life! That is a wonderful accomplishment. <3
thanks for getting personal on the blog. everyone needs a reminder like this.
Oh my, what a brave soul you are! Thank you for sharing, and for making us all a bit more appreciative.
PS: So... you're sure about this dissertation thing? Sometimes I think to myself if I were sane and really understood the meaning of life, I'd quit :) I think its a coping mechanism, don't you? It's actually quite refreshing to hear you say the opposite actually :) Cheers to you!
thank you for sharing this. my mother recently had the 12th year anniversary of her breast cancer diagnosis. within these 12 years, i lost a sibling very tragically at a very young age. i recovered from the shock of a suicide attempt of someone very close to me. i can go on and on. as a phd student, whenever i cry over something, i always remind myself of how lucky i am just to be healthy and alive. i hope you have a long, happy and healthy life.
congratulations on life :) glad to hear you're enjoying and making the most out of it!
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing this and making me appreciate the little things in life :) and here's to the many years coming!! Cheers!!
Love
Sehar
You continue to be an inspiration to me--you are kind and compassionate, smart, beautiful and make the world a better place in so many ways. Yeah for your tenth anniversary--there is so much to celebrate.
Hooray for life! I'm glad you get to celebrate. :)
Wow! i had no idea! SO glad you are alive! Thanks for sharing your experience. I actually love it when you get more personal on this blog.
You are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing with us!
Thank you, Tania, for sharing your story with us and providing us all with a much-needed dose of perspective. I, too, suffered through many years of an illness (though it was not nearly as serious as your own experience), and it makes me grateful every day for each moment filled with friends, family and learning. May you have many more decades to celebrate your health and well being!
Wow what an amazing story. Thank you for sharing!
Also do you think you could share links to non-fashion blogs that you like? I seriously only like your blog when it comes to fashion but I love reading blogs about people's lives and would love to know what you would recommend.
i think is a great post, and i love that you came away from a dark time with that sort of positivity!
I'm sure I won't be saying anything that hasn't already been said, but thanks for posting. You're passing on a lot of positive vibes and helping your readers at least stop for a second and think about appreciating things more.
Keep it up. :)
This (seriously) made my day. I just celebrated two years after my diagnoses with cancer - diagnosed at 25 - and I was overwhelmingly happy to see that date on the calendar. 10 years! I'm thrilled for you. I can't wait to get there myself.
I just want to celebrate your life with you! It's amazing that you went through that and came out with your life and your spirit so strong. I sincerely applaud you.
Thank you for sharing.
ModaMama.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing. Your posts about your journey to fight, defeat and survive cancer are very inspiring. Here is to a long and healthy life!
I am so overwhelmed by your kindness, thank you all so much for adding so much joy to this day!
@3:20 anonymous--yes, i'd love to. some of my recent favorites are annehelenpetersen.com, e-tells-tales.blogspot.com, thehairpin.com, slate.com, rockstar diaries, a cup of jo, wit and delight, you are my fave, and simply bike.
@2:07 anonymous--it sounds like it's been a really hard year for you, that sounds incredibly overwhelming. i think going through those big hard things has helped me take grad school woes with a grain of salt--i've paid the price to meet life this way, but it is a hidden blessing of those hard times. i hope that life gets easier for you, and your mother's health continues to be good!
@anja--i'm sure you understand it well! i hope your health is doing well today.
@emma--no, thank you!! i am protective of my long hair because of what it symbolizes now and i love getting compliments about it--it's a sign of life :)
@alayne--wow, that sounds like a really stressful time for you. i hope you can be gentle with yourself in what must be an overwhelming situation. and good luck with your thesis--i hope you enjoy the triumph when you finish!
Congratulations T on ten years of health, and here's to the many, many more amazing decades still ahead of you.
Thanks for sharing this. As I'm currently clawing my eyes out over a chapter from my own thesis, it was a timely reminder to take a a deep breath, count my blessings, and not sweat the small stuff.
I think you're an incredible lady, Tania, and I'm grateful for your life as well! So happy you are alive and well, and that I get to know you a little bit. {And hooray for long hair!}
You are such a beautiful inspiration. Wow!
i had NO idea that you had leukemia! what an amazing story.
You're so amazing! Way to fight and come out stronger. This makes me admire you more than I already did :) Thanks for sharing that with us!
This is incredibly inspiring, and you are so strong and brave! I had no idea that you ever had leukemia! Thank you for sharing something so personal with a place as impersonal as the internet. I'm so happy that you are alive, happy, and in good health. <3
- Samantha
http://www.nerdysam.com
Happy Anniversary!! Congratulations on continuing to make the most of your life. Thank you for letting us in!
http://stylishsass.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing this with us. I really think that not only are you a great fashion inspirator but you must also be a great person as well. I know I couldn't imagine going through what you went through but I am so happy that you made it through and you continue on living each day with a hopeful mind. I remember reading your blog in your early posts and I remember wondering about your illness and how you coped. I'm so glad that you are a fighter and that you inspire not only people who are going through the same thing you went but anyone who has ever been at their lowest. Thanks for everything!
Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. It really makes you think how precious life is.
I admire your courage!you will give an example for your strength to other people that are sufferimg!I am watching you some months and I could not imagine!Thank you for sharing it with us!and keep walking of course!Happy anniversary girl!!!
this is such an inspiring post. thanks for sharing & congratulations on ten years!
Tania,
Thanks for sharing this! When reading fashion blogs, I always find it nice to not see an outfit and hear about the individual - and I loved hearing this about you! Congratulations on how far you've come - 10 years is amazing! And I love your thankful spirit - we all need more of this!
Have a GREAT day!! (:
What a remarkable post. If I were in your position 10 years ago, I don't know if I could be the smiling girl you are in your pictures. Truly wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for opening up and sharing. It's a great reminder for all of us. It really is such a beautiful life!
What's so great about all of these photos of you in the hospital is that you have a smile on your face. It says so much about the kind of person you are. You are wonderful :)
Wow, so inspiring. I had no idea. Thank you for sharing. You are very strong!
This is beautiful. I'm so happy you shared this personal part of your life!
Much love, Vivi
I don't know you but I love your blog! I am so thankful you shared this because it reminded me to enjoy life's blessings and burdens. Seeing beauty in both is truly living. God bless you with continued health.
xoxo, kat
Holy crap, I didn't even realize. Thank you for sharing, and happy 10th re-birthday! <3
Wow, thanks so much for sharing that with us. Happy to know you are healthy and kickin' it with us:) You're a trooper!
I never knew this about you-thanks for sharing! happy 10 years!!!
*Hugs* I'm so glad to have known you, Tania. Thank you for sharing your story and your photos and your writing -- it definitely drives home how precious and fragile and beautiful life really is.
Here's to the next 10 years.
Thanks so much for sharing your inspiring story. Makes my own worries about my dissertation seem petty as well ;)
One's health is so easily taken for granted, but is one of our greatest gifts. It is so often hard to appreciate it until it is threatened. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing with all of us!
What a wonderful post. Certain things put everything into perspective. You looked beautiful even in a hospital gown, by the way.
www.thegirlieblog.com
Look at all those big smiles you've got on, even in the hospital! I really love the picture of you bent over your notebook in your hospital bed-- you look so absorbed in your writing, as if you're completely unaware of both the photographer and the gloomy hospital surroundings. It's very innocent and sweet and sad. I'm so, so glad that the story it tells has a happy ending. Here's to many more years of health, strength, and perseverance.
-Emily W.A.Q.A.W.V.W.W.W.
Wow. You are amazing. Congrats, girl! Here's to the next ten!
oh my goodness, you're such an inspiration, tania, thanks for sharing. here's to many more 10 years! :)
Congrats! My sister was diagnosed with lymphoma two years ago but she's off chemo now is back in law school. Anyway, she reminds me of you (partly because I think law school is like grad school and partly because she also took up literature in college). I'm looking forward to reading another post ten years from now!
HUGS
You are one seriously amazing woman Tania. Seriously! You are an inspiration to many I'm sure. :)
Thank you for sharing, and what a blessing to all who know you both personally, and through your blog, that you are among us! I have my own "before and after" signal moment of near-tragedy, and I agree wholeheartedly with you that the appreciation for the little things in life never again leaves us, even if it's not always at the forefront of our consciousness. Wishing you many more beautiful and fulfilling years!
What a beautifully written post, what a blessing and inspiration.
awayfromtheblue.blogspot.com.au
Thank you for sharing your story with us & congrats on your milestone. Here's to another 10 years!
Kelly xo
This is lovely, thank you for sharing the day with us! This is the sort of thing that makes our little victories everyday worth it xXx
blackberryhorse.blogspot.com
Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this.
<3
You have an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing...you are very brave.
http://thescenicroad.blogspot.com/
Congratulations and I hope you have many, many more years of health and long hair :)
Je comprends maintenant pourquoi tu respires la fraîcheur!
Thank you for sharing this with us, I wish you many many healthy and happy years, hugs and kises <3
Just found your blog today. Truly amazing! Sending you best wishes!
Daniela
Thank you for sharing your story. I will definitely keep your message in mind next time things tough. Thanks again!
What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing such an amazing and brave story. It's very encouraging!
www.issalou.com
Wow. What a beautiful message. I got a little choked up when I read this. I've been in a funk for weeks because of how hard I'm working, how hard my program is, blah blah (I'm in a masters program at Harvard). Reading this really put things in perspective, and you're right- I am actually blessed to be going through the difficulty of my school. You're such a positive, kind person (yeah, I know I've never met you, but I follow you here); I never would have guessed you'd been through such a thing. So happy you're alive and well.
thanks for sharing and for the message. I approach life with that philosophy because I know it can all change in a spilt-second. Here's to another 10 healthy years and many, many more :)
I love this post, your blog, and our shared love on danskos! Thanks for a greatly needed reminder about life.
Wow. It was a honor to read such a personal post. Here's to health and academic writing!
Wow. Great news. Health is a gift and not to be taken lightly. Thank you for sharing!
i just want to say that you are an inspiration.
Oh Tania, when people write in comments on people's blogs, 'this made me tear up,' I usually think, really? Did it really? Because you don't even know this person. But I think I might just have had that moment with this post. I know we only know eachother through the blogosphere (I can't believe I'm writing that either, and not in an ironic way), but I feel like I've come to know you as a friend or at least a kindred spirit and I am so happy that you exist :)
I wish you many many more years of cancer-free living (until you're old and wrinkly at least) and celebrate with you this huge milestone from afar!
S.
I had no idea.... I am so glad you shared this.. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal story--just really encouraging and such a positive message.
Waouh... This is a amazing and inspiring story... and a reminder to enjoy each tiny moment in life...
Congratulations on 10 healthy years! Wow, Tania, you are so inspiring in so many ways! Thank you for sharing this, and for really putting life in perspective for a fellow grad student!!
All the very best in your many years to come! x
Thank you for sharing your story. I was really touched to hear you're doing well 10 years later! I'm a student at Penn State and this weekend we're having our annual dance marathon, known as THON, to celebrate this years efforts for raising money for kids with cancer, so this touches home. Last year we raised $9.5 million for cancer research and funding, so I hope someday kids won't have to face cancer, but you're an inspiration, because look how far you've come!
Wow! Thanks for sharing! I'm so glad that you are healthy now!
Best wishes, Rebecca
Beautiful post, Tania. Simple and perfect.
Thank you so much for sharing! Here's to many more decades of gratitude and strength!
Wow! As someone who has been reading your blog for only a little while, I appreciate (and feel honored) you have shared these personal details. I wish you continued good health and good luck with the disseration! You've already made it with your clothes in my opinion!!
You really are inspirational. Your retrospective comments and your blog and person shine through with sweetness, strength, and kindness. Thank you for being so generous in sharing.
oh my goodness! i'm just an occasional reader but what a beautiful post. you're so right to recognize the privilege of having bad days! i'll be sure to bear this in mind in my own life (and similar gradstudent experience).... thank you!
also, on a more superficial note, you look just like you did ten years ago; it's like you haven't aged a day!
halleluja. thx 4 sharing this.
Beautiful sentiment. I hope you have many more blessed years ahead :)
You know what? You really inspired me today to get off my own behind and do stuff. I've had health issues during my PhD, I had so many cancer tests... but most of my problems now are because when I was going through all of that, I had no support network. Anyway, I shouldn't complain because I'm alive, right? It's good to be alive. Thank you so much, you are beautiful inside and out!
Tania,
I echo the sentiments of all those above and want to say thank you for sharing. I work as a fundraiser for a children's cancer hospital and stories like yours make me feel so happy to continue the work that I do. Thanks for putting a little bit more motivation in my day to raise more money to help those kids so they too can celebrate 10 more happy years. :)
-Lexi
I wish you many, many more decades of health and happiness! :)
You are so inspiring. Thank you for reminding me what a beautiful life this is. http://roccitystyle.blogspot.com/
well. if that ain't touching, i don't know what is.
Thanks for sharing your anniversary with us.
Very inspirational!
Here's to your health happiness!
aw thank you for sharing something so personal, your are such an inspiration! what a blessing you truly are, i am so happy for you for overcoming so much!! :)
Thanks for sharing this with us. You are an inspiration! May you always be happy and healthy =)
Inspiring. Thank you. I'm so glad you overcame the illness and have such a healthy, admirable outlook on the experience. Best of luck and happiness to you!
duh.... as with everyone else, no idea about this hidden triumph over adversity. So many times people think that fashion bloggers (if you consider yourself one) are superficial, but so many times, they are not at all.
Aw, crap! I'm a 50-something grown man and you've got me bawling like a little girl!~
Oh, wow! I'm so glad that you got through such a difficult time. My heart goes out to you--my dad was diagnosed with cancer about a year and a half ago. He got through it, and It truly is an eye-opener. So very happy for you! :)
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